Lou Barlow's Journal

5:27pm: Will You Smile Again?
Close the door and drift away
into a sea of uncertainty
where all your hopes and dreams
have faded out of reach.
Remember all the bad dreams
are not far from reality.
Would you write again for me?

(Let me whisper something in your ear).

And you awake and there you are
not far off from the line before.
And just how long did it take for you to understand
where your feelings stopped and writing began?
Convince yourself to take control
play to the hilt this unlikely role.

Remember all the bad dreams
are not far from reality.
Will you write again for me?
And who bade you stop this living art?
Have you forgotten just what you are?
If you don't want to then you could at least pretend
that the paper's your soul and your blood's in the pen.
And maybe then you'd see the light
and read the truth, that you had to write.

If heaven sent you downstream
where banished eyes haven't been
would you smile again for me?
You misread your fate line
had long run out ahead of time.
Would you write again for me?



...aywkubttod

1:20am: hey guys...
its odd to have a journal that you havent checked up on or added to in a long long time. things have been outta touch, outta time, outta place. i do miss spying on my friends list now and again. its just that life has been going by and nothing feels worthy of commenting on.

i will however give you a movie recommendation. "In America" is a beautiful film. so if you are ever stuck at the video store and are drawing a blank, you just might remember this one.

be good everyone.

12:04am: one of these days i'll figure out why i find Janeane Garofalo so damn attractive...

10:36pm: i've got to be insane. i've only had 4 or 5 days off since the holidays. i'm currently running on 13 days straight. they offered me work for tomorrow and i am actually considering it. what the hell am i doing? i hate york...

12:44am: i swear i will seek revenge on the one who sent my gf the "Panty Chain Letter"

1:28am: i dislike disappointment...

11:24pm: i'm upset that i missed nada surf last week.
too many concerts, not enough cash.

7:31pm: its an odd occasion when i get to remember my dreams. all i can say is i wish i knew her name cos she was one hell of a kisser...

12:12am: .
i wouldn't have come back, if i had been jesus...
i'm the type of guy who leaves the scene of a crime.

12:20am: ever been shocked by just how angry you can get at someone?

6:56pm: september is looking good...
aug29 the yeah yeah yeahs
sept8 dandy warhols (possible second show added)
sept9 nebula
sept10+11 a perfect circle
sept25 black rebel motorcycle club
sept29 queens of the stone age
sept29+30 starlight mints
sept30 sparklehorse with some silly band called rem closing the show.

5:53pm: she had to have known...
there is this small green space at the university. (a small block) its nicely situated but it's right beside the new school buildings thats being constructed. this little blonde came out and sat on the grass as close to the construction site as she could get without getting run down on the road that runs between. a few of the guys noticed but it was when she stripped down to this bikini and started suntanning that the jobsite came to a complete halt. if we were on a boat we would have capsized on the port side. every crew had to look. i was a little surprised when i didn't hear any of the typical cat calls. just polite leering. after about an hour she got up, got dressed and went on her way. theres no way she didn't know what she was doing. a quick ego fix? my only concern is... am i one of those cat calling sexist construction workers?

4:11pm: omg... i wanna sleep with Liz Phair!


http://lizphair.com/

11:42am: hey, free long weekend!
i hope everyone got a chance to go outside last night during the blackout and see how incredible this city really is. i went for a bit of a bike tour and i everywhere i went people were out enjoying the night. some small restaurants/bars had their patios full, lit by candles and serving drinks. riding through neighborhoods you could see how many people were sitting out front of their homes, some college kids were even playing cards. i was surprised to see how many police were on horseback down yonge st. insuring the peace. some shopkeepers were safeguarding their stores but i dont think we had the problem with looting like ottawa did. it was also the first time i got to see the nights sky this summer.

4:46pm: i’m not attractive today, i’m not a sight for sore eyes
i'm not an adam or eve, i'm just a nervous young thing
hear my voice strain as i sing, my will won't bend and then break
the crate will break and i'll fall, i couldn't help it at all
i’ve got a license to confuse, what do we got to lose?
a license to confuse
i guess i got what it takes to help me make this mistake
it took a while but i learned, it took a twist but I turned
and now its clear that i’m blind, another mountain to climb
another distance to fall, i couldn't help it all
i’ve got a license to confuse, what have you got to lose?
a license to confuse
i shouldn't sound so forlorn, regret the day i was born
‘cuz here i am and i've been, i only need a few friends
my hands are sweating all day like i've been letting me down
like i've been letting me slide, just some nonsense on my mind
and the license to confuse, nothing i can use
bust it, build it for a year
here's my license that's my right

11:02pm: damn it's quiet....

4:46pm: i'll see you at the concert tonight...

6:08pm: guess whos the new dummy thats been sent to York U?

10:51pm: hands up! baby, hands up!
give me your heart. give me, give me
your heart give me, give me
hands up! baby, hands up!...

yes, it's the old club med commercial. it was in my head all day long. even listening to the radio couldn't shake it. something about white beaches and blue waters to take your mind away from the fact that it is only the third week of January.

5:31pm: hey, i'm back... somewhat. now i just gotta come up with something worthy of writing about.

btw... taking a monday off is a god send.

12:18am: i feel every ounce of my being. every muscle, tendon and bone. i played hockey for the first time in years. couple of the guys got together and rented a rink for an hour saturday night i can't skate. i can't stickhandle. i suck, but i can't stop grinning about it. i wasn't the only one who had no grace on the rink so it was fun for all. gotta love the burn but i can do without feeling like a puppet whos strings have been cut. getting going in the morning was an experience, but again... i'm still smiling about it.

and i love this huge dumping of snow, i'm actually trying to get the jeep stuck. hehe

12:03pm: got the perfect tree.
x-mas lights are on the house.
got a good portion of my shopping done.
survived the stripper/office christmas party.
the house looks pretty much in order, just stay outta my room.
holiday spirit settling in nicely.
untill...
panicked phone call from the parents, the oven on the new range is not working properly and its gonna take a few days to fix. can i have fourteen people over for dinner christmas eve?

time to panic...

5:39pm: let Carl Jung sort this one out.
i never know how to interpret dreams. a few nights ago i dreamed that i lost my four front bottom teeth. i don't know how it happened, just that i was in such a huge panic about not having four teeth. i've had similar dreams in the past. the most disturbing was that my teeth were all broken. like shattered glass in my mouth. i could feel the lose pieces falling out of place and i had to see a doctor, a dentist, anybody! immediately to get help.
i've been told that when you dream about your teeth it means you are concerned about loosing a friendship. i don't think i'm out of touch with anyone, but then... it's my sub-conscious right? how would i know?
i rarely remember any of my dreams and when i do its gotta be about teeth.

1:32am: i should be asleep damnit! monday is going to be interesting, we didn't get the blueprints for the fifth floor till the last minute on friday. we have to be done at the end of the day tomorrow. no stress, no problem right? anyways, the snow looks great outside and i really appreciated the late night drunken phone call. hehe!

4:50pm: so who wants to go see strippers on friday? thats right, its my company christmas party. the unofficial launching site is Tony's East. a bunch of the guys go and either set up camp in perverts row or just tank right up before making it to the office. it used to be all the Roast and Beer you can handle but they have set a two beer maximum this year. it will be interesting, my fun was to watch everyone schmooze the top brass and the head of personel, while loaded! usually all of the guys are spread out across the city so sometimes you can get a clashing of egos. typically i end up leaving early, one can only handle so much porn and kissing ass. to top it all off its way out in the middle of Scarborough, good thing i won't be drinking my two beer max.